The great paradoxes of my life, January 2012

I love apples, one of my very favorite foods. Supposedly so healthy, yet they make me so sick.

Jillian Michaels helped me achieve my ultimate goal of being able to fit into my jeans, yet I still hate her.

I've been acting like a bit of an idiot. I can acknowledge that I am being an idiot, and I can even anticipate that I'm about to do and say idiotic things. But, for the life of me, I just can't seem to figure out just yet how to not be an idiot.

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."

                                                                                                                       -Mother Teresa

You're Never Fully Stressed Without A Smile

Women are so ugly when they are unkind. And obnoxious when they are bossy. They are no fun when they are stressed.

Men are ridiculous when they are fussy. And are silly if they don't like beer. They are unattractive when they are selfish.

"Gonna wash my soul, gonna get it clean" -El Camino by Amos Lee

"If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell." Matthew 5:29

I am such a sinner. And instead of trying to just get by, committing the same sins over and over or even worse, committing grave sins maybe is should actually make a change in my life. How am I expecting to change my life without making a change. And I can't make the change, God can make the change, but I'm not even asking him to. Instead of waking up late, rushing to work, getting busy sinning with my right eye, left eye, right arm, and my TONGUE, I could finally do something about it. Maybe faith was really easy for me at first, and it felt like sins left my life like scaled falling off my eyes, its not the case now. And it's time to be a big girl and actually act like I could use the help. It's about time for me to finally be radical about changing my life. PLUCK IT OUT! Unfortunately, it wont be as easy as removing my eye. I need to start begging for grace. I need to stop coasting on the relationship that I currently have with the Lord and start striving a little bit. It's unfortunate that I had to learn the hard way that I'm in desperate need of conversion, but if I didn't chase after Jesus right now I would have completely lost. And be even more of an idiot. 

Pray for my soul! It's been two steps forward and eight hundred back. One day I'm praising the Lord and thinking about how eager I am to do penance for sinners, but the following day I can't even keep my own soul out of the fire. I hate sin. Let's get away with it. Before it's too late.

Every Moment of Every Day

"You are not the sum of your weaknesses and failures,but rather, you are the sum of your Father's love for you."- JPII

No matter how many times I feel like a screw up all day long, I have infinite love waiting for me at every moment.

Love Hopes All Things

Tonight when I was looking in the mirror, I realized that for a moment I wasn't picking myself apart and I could see I was beautiful, and believed it in my heart. For a minute. And I am one of the more confident girls I know. What are we going to do about this crisis of hating ourselves?

Pablo's Cafe and the way of perfection

I found the ultimate, all time best hipster hang out!!! It's called Pablo's Cafe, and you can walk to it from Mother of God Catholic Church. If you get there by 11:15, you have just enough time to enjoy an oatmeal cookie and a glass of milk, and still be able to receive Eucharist at the 12:10 Mass. Well, that's what I did at least. I'll break it down for you...guys wearing winter hats indoors, short well managed beards, blank stares, dark thick rimmed glasses, chess, two dudes playing chess, a guy rolling his own cigarette right next to me outside the window, extremely androgynous individual in fedora on a bicycle and people reading books - but looking around to make sure other people can see that they are reading books. I heard talk about bands and art shows and awkward, awkward, awkward hello's...because it's hard to be genuine when you're trying so hard to be cool, but not look like you're trying to be cool, but still trying to be really cool, or interesting, or knowledgeable, and most importantly original. It was glorious! I can't wait to go to observe. Next time I'll be sure to NOT be wearing dress pants and jcrew necklace...whoops. I'll pull out all of my scarves for this one, and by that I mean wear every single scarf I own at one time.

At Mass today, before the Eucharistic Prayer, Father read a prayer that we could be like St. Jerome and follow his example. Father stopped and looked up at us to say, "Be like St. Jerome? But he was so difficult and really wasn't easy to be around. He drove everyone away and was antagonistic. Whoever wrote this prayer doesn't know who St. Jerome is." We were all cracking up in the pews. I was thrilled to find someone who lives in the real world. It's so refreshing when someone can be reverent and fun and they aren't worried about "acting" pious.